so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
