Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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