Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
