Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
