he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
