who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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