We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
