I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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