the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
