Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
