just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Drunk is a universal language darling
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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