scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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