Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
