that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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