The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
