My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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