Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It's never too late to be topless.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
