Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
