I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
