Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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