I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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