Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
