Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
