Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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