i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm at about main and main street
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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