I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
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