my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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