Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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