no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize