Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
