Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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