I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
