the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
