Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
