We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I need moral support for this bender
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
