The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize