i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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