dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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