I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
