K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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