Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
