ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
