Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
