I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
