I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
