so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
