Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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