My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
