I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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