I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
