I wish I only lived at night.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
