Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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