I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
