Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
This is my gift to your gina
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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