that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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