it wasn't lemon gatorade
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
The air taste purple.
Randomize